Friday, August 15, 2008

"Interview" with Matthew Whitton of Bigfoot Global LLC

If The Sope-Bocks blogger was at the Palo Alto news conference with hoaxsters... I mean hunters Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer, I would love to interview them. The following are transcript excerpts of Whitton's comments from the press conference -- and my follow-up questions and comments (if I was there):

Matt Whitton: "We were not originally Bigfoot hunters."
SB: Wait Matt! Didn't you AND Ric both say you've been hunting Bigfoot "for years"?!? [Reviews video] Yep, your YouTube video has it. So, which is the lie Matt?

Matt Whitton: "We are now the best Bigfoot trackers in the world ."
SB: I know. Your tan cap says so. And we all know that hat philosophy is reliable -- and that what YOU say is reliable, too.

Matt Whitton: "We had just decided we were gonna get away for awhile. We were gonna go up into the north Georgia mountains..."
SB: What? I thought you said that you were contacted by a man from northern Georgia, who had seen a Bigfoot. You know, it was reported on your tip line at Remember your YouTube video? [Reviews video again] Yep, that's what you said was the basis for discovering Bigfoot. That tip and your keen approach to tracking Bigfoot (sometime from a tree limb, with a nylon rope).

Matt Whitton: "We were camping deep in the woods... We stumbled upon this creature... a stroke of luck, I can tell you that."
Matt, Matt... um Gary... yeah, um didn't you say that you are the best Bigfoot trackers in the world? Not even two minutes ago? So how is it that you were camping and "stumbled" upon this creature -- not tracking Bigfoot, but taking a weekend off and going camping? I'd like to know how that works. Could you elaborate?

Matt Whitton: "Ric went back and got a truck... and some help... and we got it outta there."
SB: Not being an outdoorsman, camping enthusiast or experienced Bigfoot hunter such as yourself, I'm curious. Does everyone go "deep into the woods" driving a Cadillac STS, Mercedes C230 or Dodge Caravan? I would have thought that camping "deep in the woods" of the north Georgia mountains would kinda require use of a four-wheel drive truck. Haven't I seen Mr. Dyer driving a Nissan 4x4? Didn't you guys purchase a $38,000 tow truck for your Bigfoot hunting business? Am I missing something?

Reporter: Do you know how the animal died?
Matt Whitton: "I do not."
SB: Matt, didn't at least two of your YouTube videos strongly infer that you did indeed know how "the animal" died? There was a hunter and a 30.06 involved. Don't you remember showing us a bullet?

Reporter: Can you tell us about the DNA evidence...?
Matt Whitton: "Well, we're waitin' on that to come back... I guess Tom has it back. As far as I know, it's gonna come back as a... what it looks like to me is a human, ape-type creature. ... It's definitely something we've never seen before. So, it should come back as something like that."
SB: So, Matt -- you're a DNA expert as well as the best Bigfoot tracker in the world? I am impressed. Your vast knowledge of all animal species and the fact that you can see this is "definitely something we've never seen before" lends further credibility to your claims. Um, when did you say we will get to see the body?

Whitton goes on to say three other Bigfoot were "paralleling" them as they recovered the 500lb male Bigfoot corpse from the forest. "It's like they didn't want to be seen. We'd hear a crunch in the leaves or something and we would see them. They were aware of us. They didn't try to attack us or anything."
According to Whitton, the "scientific community" is going to do an autopsy on the beast.



Anonymous said...

Hoax or no hoax..I'm getting a heap of requests to to interviews about a bigfoot i found..Only thing is...I'm a muso from Australia...:) Ironically i have only just released a song called 'I AM MAN" which is probably what it will be..HEY! If this guy is cashing in...Can i cash in on someone cashing in??? Hahaa

Matt WHitton (the other one) i dont have a bigfoot ...I HAVE 2!!

Charlie said...

Too funny. I'm scared to visit your site. I'm afraid my PC will become infected with some sort of sasquatch malware. :-) J/K

flaming hot cheetos said...

please take the Bigfoot Monologue Challenge by clicking on my youtube link! too much fun!