Wednesday, August 18, 2004

TOPIC: My Wife's Birthday Present
Before you pass this one by, take a moment to consider this -- especially if you're a married male. My wife's birthday will be here in a few days. I have asked several times what she would like as a present. Without fail, she has told me one thing -- a bagger for your lawn mower. My reply -- I am NOT buying you a bagger for the lawn mower! :-)
Let me back up a bit -- my wife loves working outdoors. She loves moving the lawn. Since I have horrible allergies that flare to the point of allergy-induced asthma, I don't mind if she mows the lawn. My wife is a loving and giving woman -- a cherished Christian who lives as Proverbs 31 tells us a woman should live. BUT, I'm still not buying her a bagger for the lawn mower!
Not bragging, but my lovely wife tells me that her friends at work think I am a great guy. I take her out to dinner; buy her nice gifts when we can afford it; give her days at the spa for gifts and generally don't sit around on my fat arse eating chips and drinking beer every Saturday.
As such, I have a reputation to uphold! I can just hear the conversation when she returns to work after her birthday... Coworker: "Hey, happy belated birthday! Did you have a good birthday?" MyWife: "Thanks. I had a great day and received some nice presents." Coworker: "Really? What did your family get for you?" MyWife: "Well, the kids made cards for me... and they gave me a charm for my bracelet. Oh, and my husband gave me a bagger for the lawn mower." Coworker: "Reeaallly... (says to herself) That schmuck. I thought he was a nice guy and here he is giving his poor darling wife a stupid bagger for their LAWN MOWER. Men! They're all alike... (says aloud) That's nice. Gotta run."
Get the picture?!? I just can't buy her a bagger for the mower. It will ruin my reputation. So what would YOU do?
[! HUMOR !]

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