Monday, August 30, 2004

TOPIC: Left-lane drivers - Someone get me a bazooka!
OK, I don't live in a metropolis. The closest thing we have to a real freeway, parkway or tollway is a measly 4-lane highway that runs east to west in this part of the state. Nonetheless, I have a beef with people who refuse, at all costs, to move from the left lane to the right lane. HELLO! The RIGHT lane is for driving. The LEFT lane is for passing ONLY, period. Move over.
The worst culprits are what I call "oblivions" -- the morons who have NO IDEA why everyone is zooming around them, flipping them off and honking the horn. They seem to think they're on a country drive Sunday afternoon and all the zooming, "waving" and honking is other friendly folk out for a Sunday stroll around the country.
I'm sure some of my more "agressive" readers have their own favorite trick to pull on these idiots. Here's mine -- IF there are not a lot of other cars in the same area, I politely pull up behind pokey and flash-to-pass. If he doesn't move over in a reasonable timeframe, I pull up a bit closer and toot the horn a couple of times. If he still doesn't get the hint, I usually switch to the right lane, pass and go on. BUT, if ol' poke-along has been holding up traffic for awhile (and no one is very close by at the moment), I simply pass, get back in the left lane and then coast down to around 45. Pokey normally gets annoyed and moves to the right lane. When he does, I kick in the 5.7L V8 and leave him in the dust -- and in the right lane. I know, not mean enough for some of you... but I don't want to play dirty. Two wrong don't make a right. But, can someone get me a bazooka?!?

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